I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
