But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
