Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
