yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I don't want my vagina anymore.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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