I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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