I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
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