Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
