I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize