So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i just google imaged poop.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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