You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
