Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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