omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
