That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
