When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
