Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize