absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
