In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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