I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
