So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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