Apparently you make a good broom.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
