that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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