i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I feel like death gave me a hand job
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Randomize
