That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
