I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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