Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
