Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
