i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Randomize