these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
