i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
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