She is in my trunk
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
