If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize