What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
