You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
