the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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