youre lurking in front of me
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Just cropdusted the office
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Randomize
