i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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