i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize