I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
