Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
