i love accidental penises.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
