I am puke
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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