He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Randomize
