I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize