That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Randomize
