I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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