Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
