you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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