I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
50% drunk capacity currently
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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