i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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