i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
You need a sexual gate keeper
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
