I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
