...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I can't put those talents on a resume
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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