the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Your penis caused this!
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
