literally had 100 drinks last night.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize