Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
they need to just BURY HIM!
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Randomize
