O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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