When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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