btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
