and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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