Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
