i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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