And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
