My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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