So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
