i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
You took a bar mat shot.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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