I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
