Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
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