apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
do herpes really smell.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
