I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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