im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
