I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
