I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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