I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
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