her vagine was all disorganized.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
