Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
