Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Randomize
