So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
