Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
