New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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