Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
